How Important is Sex in a Relationship

The benefits of sex in a relationship

The role that sex plays in relationships is hotly debated despite how it is usually portrayed in the media.

It is true that sex has many benefits and can be a great pleasure for those involved. However, sex is not everything. Without having sex, a relationship can still be successful and joyful. Having sex and having an orgasm has many psychological and physical benefits, including:

• Improved sleep
• Reduced stress levels
• Supports strong pelvic floor muscles
• Promotes relationship satisfaction
• Promotes more significant commitment in relationships
• Releases oxytocin, which promotes stronger bonds
• Release of other “feel good” hormones, such as dopamine

However, not all types of sex are suitable for couples. Good sex is what matters. Bad sex that is obligatory, painful, resentful, hostile or worse will not be beneficial.

How often should a couple have sex?  

The more sex you have with your partner, the more you will feel sexual satisfaction. Because it’s different for every relationship, there’s no set frequency for having sex. To determine how often you should have sex, it’s best to think about each of your libidos or sexual desires.

Try having an open conversation about how often you both want to have sex and take the average of the two. You both feel content this way. If any of you are concerned about the frequency, it may indicate an unfair average. Unexpected changes in sex drive may cause this.

Causes of a Changing Sex Drive

You or your spouse may notice a change in sex drive for some reasons, such as major life events, new medications, illnesses, mental health conditions, and hormonal imbalances.

All of these factors can affect a person’s sex life:

• Infertility stress
• Hormone changes
• adverse effects of medications
• Mental health problems
• Life transitions: birth of a child, menopause, moving to a new job, job loss, grief, etc.
• Relationship problems (such as emotional affairs, infidelity, or other trauma caused by betrayal)

Seeing a sex therapist or couples counselor may be one way to deal with the unwanted dead bedroom (lack of sexual activity) that you and your partner are going through.

How important is Sex to Your Partner? 

It’s time to think about your partner after you determine how important sex is to you. It might be a good idea to talk to them for a while about how much they value sex. Do they desire frequent sexual contact? Would they rather have sex every few weeks? Understanding how important sex is to your partner is crucial. Make sure your expectations for your sexual relationship are the same.

It is essential to consider each other’s desires as perceived or actual sexual compatibility. You may find that your relationship gets worse if your partner only wants to have sex once a month, even if you like to do it three times a week. While starting this topic can be frustrating, it is crucial if you want to establish a strong and lasting connection.

What Can You Do To Improve Your Sex Life Together?

Many couples don’t even realize they have problems with sex until they check how satisfied they are with their sex lives. It’s easy to settle into a new normal before realizing everything has changed. However, you can take action now that you know it and have a more positive and transparent conversation.

Here are some general tips to improve your sex life:

Check some online or book resources to explore ideas. If your discussion about sex with your spouse went well, chances are you came away with either new ideas you want to explore or areas you like to work on. If you’re looking for new and intriguing ways to spice up your sex life, there are plenty of tools available. Feel free to use them.

Continue to practice patience. Even with healthy dialogue and global support, anger can flare, self-esteem can be damaged, and doubt can begin to creep in. It’s natural. Don’t panic if negative feelings arise. Acknowledge them as part of learning something new, acknowledge your excitement about learning to do these new things with your partner, and try to be present for their challenges.

Make a conscious effort to change something, even if you have to plan it. It’s one thing to have a fresh conversation about sex. It can be very intimidating to try something new with your partner. Agree on what you want to try, when you like to try it, and how you will do it. You are much more likely to return to your old behavior if you don’t consider it. Discussing this in advance would also be acceptable if it doesn’t work out. Create a safe environment where you can try out new ideas.

See a relationship counselor. While professional help is always helpful, it can be especially important when discussing sex. You and your partner may be so close that you can both be present, calm, and understanding when talking about sex. However, to keep things moving positively, many people need professional support.

See a Relationship or Marriage Counselor

Research shows that 98-99% of people believe that sex plays a significant role in their relationships with romantic partners. It’s essential to take steps to get help if you feel concerned about your sexuality or sexual functioning or if your relationship with your partner is not working as well as it could. In many cases, couples need professional help to have productive conversations about sex or libido discrepancies. If one or both of them find it difficult to discuss the topic, consider going to marriage or couples counseling. There are situations where explicit use of sex therapy may be appropriate.

Let’s recap 

Because every relationship is unique, there is no set number of times you should have sex. However, most relationships revolve around sex, so don’t be afraid to discuss this issue with your spouse. You can increase the frequency of sex in your relationship and increase your pleasure with tips such as getting professional help or showing more physical affection.